Being Productive...Or Not

Yesterday's post talked briefly about being curious surrounding your coping mechanisms that are triggered by stress. 
And guess what? You might not know this (yea right)...but we are in the middle of a very stressful time. 
As stated in the last post, this is a chance to grow and learn about yourself, rather than hide in fear. 

Here are three steps to grow and learn surrounding your coping mechanisms:

1. Become curious...and then write it down
First step: Ask yourself WHY at least three times. WHY do I feel anxious/afraid? WHY? WHY? Getting to the root cause of your anxiety or fear will help you better handle the symptoms. Chances are that your fear is lying in some deep rooted childhood trauma, and the fear is really just the outcome of some story you have told yourself. A story that is, probably, not true. 

If you have 3:47 seconds to spare, watch this amazing Brene Brown video regarding the stories we tell ourselves:

After you ask yourself the all-important question of WHY, journal a bit. Every time you get stressed, take thirty seconds to a minute and journal. It doesn't have to be a deep dive, but just a jotting down of a few of your triggers. After some time, you'll begin to notice patterns. These patterns might be around certain people, might be around certain comments, might be around certain situations--chances are, though, the patterns are always linked to that initial trauma. 

2. Have Compassion
This. Is. HUGE.
Have compassion for yourself. Don't judge yourself. Think of yourself like a small child who is just trying to figure out their way in the world, because you know what?--we are always reacting as that small traumatized child. That is the person that gets triggered! So, have some patience with yourself. Have some compassion with yourself. Judging yourself is never helpful. 

3. Don't Compare Yourself 
Part of having compassion for yourself is not comparing yourself to others.
Don't compare yourself to how others are dealing with this stress. 

We have all seen the memes:
Shakespeare wrote Lear while in a plague; what are you doing with your quarantine?
Get in the best shape of your life--all from your living room!
Write that novel! What else will you do with all this time?

Now, look: I have become curious about my coping mechanisms, and one thing I know about myself is that I have to stay busy. If I'm not being productive, I'm going to spiral. But, hey, that's just me. 

Just because others are productive doesn't mean you have to be. 
And something else: taking care of yourself by doing nothing? That is also productive. You're taking care of yourself. 

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We are in a weird time. I guarantee you that you have never experienced this before. 
Chances are some deep rooted stories are popping up. 

​Get curious. 
Have compassion.
Don't compare. 

If you do those things, you will grow. You will learn. And that's productive.

via GIPHY